Hello Foundations Families and Friends,
This week’s growth mindset quote is…
“When you’re chasing a dream or doing anything hard, you’re meant to feel good a third of the time, feel okay a third of the time, and feel yucky a third of the time…and if the ratio is roughly in that range, then you’re doing fine.” – Alexi Pappas, Olympic Champion
Happiness… we all seem to be chasing it, hoping and wishing that just maybe a day will finally come when we will feel happy all (or at least most) of the time. And for parents, oh how we long for our kids to feel happy! We go to great lengths to help our children feel happy.
Here’s the problem – to accomplish goals, to grow and change, and to achieve great things, requires not feeling happy. In fact, if we’re feeling happy most of the time, then there is a high possibility that we are in a spot where we are not pushing or challenging ourselves much at all.
There was a day when Olympic Champion, Alexi Pappas, shared with her coach that she was feeling down and discouraged, and her coach explained to her that that’s exactly how she will feel part of the time while she is working hard to achieve her dreams. The only way she was going to make it to the Olympics was if she could tolerate and push through those times of unhappiness and frustration. Alexi embraced that truth, and she went on to become an Olympic Champion. And there is no doubt that the amazing joy and fulfillment that she experienced from achieving her goal was far greater than the temporary “happiness” she would have felt if she had stopped doing the things that were causing her misery (working out, eating right, making mistakes, pushing through exhaustion, being corrected by her coach, etc.).
Though we want to feel happy all of the time, the reality is that if we are growing or working toward any goal, some days we are going to feel happy, some days we are going to feel so-so, and some days we are going to feel miserable, and that is normal! Since happiness is a feeling that comes and goes, the pursuit of constant happiness only leads to frustration because it’s simply not sustainable.
Perhaps we should consider changing our goal (for ourselves and for our children) from being a person who feels happy, to being a person who is resilient, who has strong character, and who doesn’t allow temporary feelings to stop them from achieving their goals, and as a result experiences deep fulfillment and joy – a far greater reward than the temporary feeling of happiness.